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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Work Rant

Ever have one of those days where it feels like the more you get done, the further behind you end up? I had one today. It was stressful and not fun at all! I am rarely as stressed out as I felt today. I was sitting at my desk, lips pursed, jaw clenched, shoulders tight and hunched, and trying not to kill anyone. Not that my current workload is anyone's fault. Everyone in my department is completely swamped, and completely overworked and stressed out.

But seriously, today I really felt like I was drowning. I really do enjoy my job, when I actually get to do it. But lately, and for the last few months, it feels like a ton of busywork (right Christyn?). Everything we (the underwriters in my department) do only results in more reports and clerical work, which keeps us from being able to continue on with our actual duties. Which reminds me right now, that I forgot to update one of the many spreadsheets that I needed to plug some info into today. Crap. There is no escape!! There's just too much work for too few people to handle. And my department seems to end up responsible for duties that really should be covered by other departments that don't pull their own weight or can't be trusted to do things correctly.

I do not like this level of stress. I feel it in my whole body, and it makes me want to cry. I was fighting back tears today at work for the first time (okay, the first time that it was due to work issues). I guess it was that at that moment, while attempting to field the numerous e-mailed requests and questions I had just received, I felt like I couldn't do it. In the 5+ years I've been there, I've never really felt that way at work before. Not to that extent anyway. I've felt like I didn't know enough yet or that it was challenging, but never that I couldn't actually do it. Weak moment on my part, I guess.

I suppose it didn't help that one of my co-workers asked if I felt okay, and said that I didn't look like I felt well. (That on top of one of my co-workers mentioning yesterday that I looked tired...) And part of it may be that PMS is evil and vengeful (reasons for vengeance unknown), and I'm afraid it may have me in it's claws right now. (And I HATE to admit that PMS might be to blame for any behavior changes, but hormones will kick your butt, given the chance.)

Anyway, I finished up one task and hightailed it out of there for a lunch break. An hour sitting outside with a good book and a nonfat chai latte can do wonders for someone! It didn't banish all of the stress, but it sure did help a lot. And when I came back to work and got back into the groove, it didn't seem quite as hopeless as it had earlier. And after talking to a couple of co-workers here and there, it sounded like a lot of us were having the same stress overload issue today. (Sad how it really does help to know you are not alone in your misery!)

Here's to hoping that I have a much more positive work experience tomorrow! Actually, I'm hoping all of my co-workers have a better day tomorrow!

5 comments:

Calamity Jen said...

Hooray for mental breaks! I'm glad that you were feeling better afterwards and I hope that today goes better than yesterday did.

Dagny said...

PMS and annoying co-workers? That can be a bad combo. Hope it gets better.

Fluffycat said...

You should be able to take off work if you have PMS.

At least you like your job most of the time, that's something good. Sometimes taking a five minute walk around your building (or my favorite, hiding in the bathroom for ten minutes) clears your head.

Christyn said...

I feel your pain!! (SIGH!!) Hang in there, hopefully all this stuff (crap) will be over soon...meaning our investors will leave us alone and give us normal issues!

I didn't know you were on the verge of tears yesterday. :( I knew you were stressed..but =(! (((HUG))). Hang in there. Today will be better, right? :) How about we go to Starbucks and read (again) at lunch today...and kill that stress!?!?

You love your job? At least one of us does!

Just remember to..Breathe, unclench the jaw, move the shoulders down and relax :).

Joie said...

I agree with the hide for 5 minutes when overwhelmed suggestion.

And if it helps, I've had days where I wonder why the hell I am doing what I'm doing. You know I love teaching, and there have been more than a few days I went home in tears feeling like a failure. And I know I'm not, I receive plenty of praise from other teachers and the principal. It sucks, but I think most people experience it sometimes.

Good for you knowing how to beat the stress. I guess our class helped after all! Remember to take 10 sec to stretch and breath periodically.

Hope today is better!