It's been a long week. Yes, I know it's only Wednesday. The stress level at work continues at a steady high, with vast amounts of work to do and ever shrinking amounts of time in which to do it. There seems to be a lot more data entry lately...which makes me feel like I'm not getting to the meat of my job, as I'm not reviewing as many loans... And there are plenty waiting for my prying eyes. At these times (mega-busy, too much to do) I really relish every tiny non-work-related e-mail that comes in. My life is so full (ha!). (That was a thinly veiled hint for all my friends who read this - keep the idle prattle coming! It keeps me sane-ish! Heck, I'll even take your forwards, as long as they don't suck.)
Sadly, I'm sure anyone who looks at me twice (or even once) can tell I've been stressed. I have totally broken out over my whole forehead, and my cheeks/chin. I feel like I look like a 15 year old. And the scary part is, when I was 15, I never had terrible breakouts, though I did breakout here and there. In any case, it's annoying. But, I know acne doesn't necessarily go away after puberty. I remember about 10 years (or more) ago, my mother complaining that she had thought she'd stop getting zits before she hit 40. (Okay, I'm paraphrasing there.)
Anyway, speaking of being 15, I have been thinking lately about how much I've grown and changed since high school (and jr. high, and elementary school). Yet, with all that change, sometimes I still feel like that insecure little girl. I don't think I radiate insecurity anymore, like I have a feeling I did back in my younger days, when I was quiet and subdued and pretty much convinced that no one knew who I was (my current friends can't believe I was like that, but I was. Ask my mom!). And, I do a lot more positive self-talk now than I used to. But, even now, when I feel like I've been left out of something, I go right back to that withdrawn teen who thinks she's not liked or wanted. And as much as I tell myself not to take things personally, it's difficult to do. I'm not sure I really have a point there, except that it's funny how our personas change over time, but our core is pretty constant.
And obviously, I'm going on and on again, and should really get myself off to bed. I'm already bound to be late tomorrow. It's inevitable, since I left my cell phone plugged in under my desk at work again. So, I'd better do my best to be on time, because Murphy's Law is definitely against me. (Darn you Murphy! And your stinkin' law, too!!)