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Monday, October 23, 2006

Holy Dork-a-roo!

Yep, that's me... (Though Caitlin will argue that she's Dorkaroo, and I'm Nerdine...is that right?) Anyway...I am afraid I may have totally embarassed myself without realizing it (until too late) this weekend. And yes, I know. It wouldn't be the first time.

So here goes... Earlier this week I got a phone message from my local library stating I had books that are overdue and must be returned. Now, I could have sworn I had taken back all of the overdue books, as I tend to be pretty conscious about that kind of thing (and if I'm late, I already know it). In fact, it had already been part of my weekend plan to take back some books and DVDs that I had due on the 21st. I checked my account status online (LOVE that feature!), and saw which book was still out. I could have sworn that I had returned that one when I took back The Maltese Falcon. I had a pretty clear visual of the 2 items on my passenger seat from the last time I'd taken items back. But, since my first instinct is to always think I am at fault (what is that about anyway?), I searched the apartment to no avail, and called my mother's house wondering if I'd left it there. But, that visual memory was so strong, I just KNEW I'd already returned it...

I headed out of the house Saturday afternoon to hit the library, returning the stuff that was due, as planned. I figured I may as well check the shelves, just in case that other book wasn't logged back into their system when I returned it (as I had thought I had done...). Lo and behold, there it was, staring up at me from the New Arrivals section. So, I took it back to the desk and told the librarian the tale. Now, realize how jaded I am from working on defaulted and fraudulent loans every day. I am always prepared for the worst, and was just waiting to be accused of lying to get out of paying the late fee. I was pleasantly surprised when the librarian looked embarassed and was all apologies, clearing my account and removing the legitimate late fee that I was offering to pay (all of $0.20, but still). I'm sure it wasn't her fault either, because I hadn't seen her there before. But, my faith in people was restored a bit, and I realized that I do worry too much about things (it's connected in mind, believe me).

So, yeah, I know, nothing to embarass me yet. Keep reading, if you're not bored to tears yet.

I go to 5:30pm mass at my church, thinking about how I've been jaded in my job, and the world isn't as cynical and negative as I tend to think. I listen to the readings, sing along with gusto (church is one of the few places I can sing in front of others without feeling self-conscious. Yep, church and the car.), shake hands during the sign of the peace. I get up and take communion, kneel in my pew to pray, and stand up for the closing hymn. Gee, that's funny, these pants feel awfully loose...OH MY GOD!!! MY ZIPPER IS COMPLETELY UNDONE!! How long has it been this way? Was I running around the library in a state of undress?? Is that why the librarian looked embarassed? Was it down all through mass, while I shook hands with strangers, meeting their eyes with mine? Am I the crazy lady who exposes herself IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD?? Yes, all those thoughts went careening around my mind while I tried to inconspicuously zip up... Luckily, my shirt hem reached to about the starting point of the zipper, but I still don't know if underclothes were visible.

I am so ashamed...

11 comments:

Christyn said...

Oh Tami Tami Tami! We've all had those moments of "undress" as you said.
The Lord was probably looking down upon you and saying, "Why did you wear THOSE underwear to my House???" They may be holey, but they aren't Holy! :) LOL! (I crack myself up)
...and for the record, I have no clue what underwear she wore...LOL...I wasn't there.

Tami said...

ACK!!! I didn't mean Holy in THAT way! Colorful, maybe...

Kai said...

Just be glad you were WEARING underwear! LOL! See? It COULD have been worse!

Dagny said...

Kai has the correct point there -- that you were wearing underwear.

By the way, how did you like "The Maltese Falcon"? I read it when I was in high school, I think. Not I think I read. I think I was in high school at the time. I do know that my freshman year of college I worked my way through the rest of Hammett's works. If you liked it, you should check out Chandler and Cain, if you haven't already.

Fluffycat said...

oh man that sucks. i've had that experience before. at least it was a zipper, and like your pants had split in the back or something.

Joie said...

Ah yes, pants splitting, I have done that one, and I worked in schools. Mercifully the twice it happened there were not children in the room, and thank goodness I always have safety pins (and in my defense, the pants weren't THAT tight, and it did only rip through the first set of stitches. That is why pants are double sewn on rear seams ladies and gents)
I alway remembered after that to hitch them up just a bit before bending to pick things off the floor, one of the hazards of the job...

And if it makes you feel any better, last spring we had a gal at our church who was standing in the rear of the church after services with her back to most people and the zipper on her skirt was totally undone. You could see her undies. I ran up and let her know. I thought she was going to die.

Sometimes I think zippers are sentient and are getting a good laugh at our expense!

caitlin said...

Tami... speaking of dorkaroo. I responded to your most recent blog in the wrong area... You will have to scroll down to your UCLA piece to read what I wrote this morning. Sorry. See how I can't function b4 coffee???

Tami said...

You are funny Caitlin...now, go refuel! (And luckily, there was no PC to show the world)

caitlin said...

OMG.. I can't believe you remember PC. How about "bunchy?"

Gloria said...

Ah yes, I've had those problems recently with the library. I return books, using the return slot INSIDE the library, but nonetheless the books seem to somehow go missing. It's really annoying!

Tami said...

Caitlin - Of course I remember "bunchy!" Kerri and I still use that term.

Dagny - I actually haven't read The Maltese Falcon. I had checked out the movie, since I hadn't seen it in a while. One of these days I'll probably read it, though. As for right now, I'm absorbed in "The Memory Keeper's Daughter." You would probably like it - it's beautifully written.

Joie - I forgot about the pants splitting incident, I seem to remember you mentioning that before... And yeah, at least it was a front zipper, and my pants didn't end up around my ankles.

Kai - there was no chance I wouldn't have been wearing the underwear...though there are others I wouldn't be so sure about! (And I trust this means you made it through your medical procedures all fine and dandy.)

Gloria - I actually remember handing these directly to the librarian who was standing behind the return slots at the desk that day. At least they were nice about it though.

Fluffycat - good to know I'm not alone!