Thank you to everyone who offered me your support. I really do appreciate it.
So, after getting in to the office this morning and checking the emails from the weekend, I went into the boss's office for a chat. And yes, I was dreading it. I apologized for my reaction from Friday. (That's how I put it too. Damned if I was going to apologize for what I actually said! Pardon my language Mom!) So we talked about how the stress levels have been building, and I know that her job is not easy and she's just as stressed out as the rest of us.
She mentioned how she thought that the way I spoke to her on Friday was not respectful (or however she put it). I mentioned that I felt like I was under attack, and went on the defense. She didn't seem to think she was being harsh with me (but Christyn - you heard it all, back me up here) and seems to think that I perceived it wrong. (No, I'm sorry, I know when it's an attack. And she has a history of coming out of her office in a raging mood and hollering at people, usually over nothing, before she's gotten the whole story straight. We are all sick of it, and at least one of my co-workers confessed to me afterwards that she'd almost reported the boss to HR for something that had happened a few days earlier.) So, she thought that I wasn't showing her the proper respect. I was completely straight with her and didn't back down on this issue. I told her that I responded to her in the same tone that she had been using with me. Her response? "But I'm the boss." I actually said, "Yeah, but you're not God." And went on to state that being the boss doesn't make it okay to treat people like crap. I said that the rest of us deserve to be treated with respect as well, and they way she speaks to us sometimes does not show that. (Yes, I said that to her. It's true, and she's been condescending and snippy and reactionary since she started in that position. I don't care who you are, you should treat others with respect and tact.) She blamed her attitude on a lot of the stress. I mentioned that we're all under stress and have been for a long time.
(Did I mention that I was saying most of this through a haze of tears? I was so mad at myself for all the crying, but I just couldn't stop! I hate crying in the office - it is SO unprofessional!)
I did tell her that we don't want her to leave the department, and I sympathised with her having to work under the big boss (the amazing 4-faced woman - no, I did not refer to her that way in the meeting). And that we are all so overwhelmed with the amount of work and the ridiculous deadlines (which I mentioned wouldn't be ridiculous if they weren't all on top of each other). And then she gave me a big hug (which just made me cry harder) and told me to hang in there and consider all this water under the bridge. She said she loves me as an employee and that I'm good at my job, and that she loves me as a friend as well.
That's all good and fine, and I am glad we talked it out. But, really...nothing was resolved. So, I'll continue to plug away and do my best, and go back to trying to let the crap roll off my back again. It's just a job, right?
Later, I told a few co-workers about what had happened (just 2 that I trust with it) and they gave me kudos to sticking to my guns about the way the boss talks to us. (I guess I am their new crusader. But, when I believe in something, I won't back down.) It's good to have support.
Anyway, all day I was smelling some sweet florally stink...and realized that it was ME!! When the boss hugged me, I was covered in her perfume, and my shirt STILL smells like it! (Thank God it's not as strong as it was this morning - I almost couldn't eat, it was so pervasive.)