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Thursday, February 17, 2011

A Dear John Letter

Dear Tendinitis De Quervain,

It feels like we just met, but believe it or not, you've made a huge impression on me in a very short time. You've also taught me a lot. For instance, I now have a much stronger sense of appreciation for my body, and have learned that I really appreciate my independence.

That being said, I am afraid that I've also learned that it would be best for me if this relationship came to a quick end. I know this can't be easy for you, since you've been ignoring all of the recent, and not very subtle, hints I've been trying to give you. Please don't think this is easy for me either. I've put a lot of thought into this decision. In fact, I even consulted a doctor and am now on medication to help me end this. The doctor went so far as to prescribe that I actually place a physical barrier between us. You may have noticed, but it doesn't seem to have deterred you.

I still feel you fighting to stay with me, and I have to tell you that it makes me really uncomfortable. You see, I've been very independent for a very long time, and lately you've become a constant presence. Frankly, you're just in my way. I mean, I can't do anything without you popping up and making my life difficult. Seriously, you're starting to interfere with my grocery shopping, my morning routine, my work, and you even seem to resent my time contributing to charitable causes. It's just not a healthy situation for me.

Is this getting through to you yet? If not, you need to know something else. Now, don't think that I'm just being cruel. I want you know that I'm serious about wanting you out of my life. I have to admit that there's someone else. When you first gripped my wrist in a fit of jealous rage, I found myself turning to someone else. It's someone I've known all of my life, but I never realized how much he meant to me until I started to feel controlled by you. That's when I realized that he's always been there for me, and I just couldn't bear it when you tried to force us apart.

Maybe I should thank you. I mean, if it wasn't for you, I never would have discovered my true feelings. Because of you, I now know without a doubt that Opposable Thumb and I were meant to be together. Honestly, I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Face it TDQ, you were simply a passing phase, and I'm moving on. Oppie lets me be myself and doesn't try to control me. I feel so happy and free with him, like I never felt with you.

So, I'm going to have to say goodbye. Please respect my wishes and go quietly. This is better for both of us. Please don't contact my doctor or my family or friends to try to get in touch with me. They all support my decision. My doctor even has a plan in place in case you put up a fight. I don't like violence, so I'll warn you now that it involves at least a single shot. I really hope it doesn't come to that, but at this point, I'm really willing to try anything to regain my freedom.

Goodbye Forever,


1 comment:

BellaKarma said...

I'm totally having you write a "Dear John" letter for my future ex-boyfriend!

Love this! You know I totally *get* it. ;-)