My personal musings on the world of crochet, TV, books, work, personal crises, etc...
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Tuesday Randomness
I've been thinking about joining the One Skein Secret Pals Exchange hosted by Interweave Press. But, I get self-conscious and wonder if I'm good enough and if some stranger would be happy with what I might do to their lovely skein of mystery yarn…I'd hate to have wasted their money. What is with this constant self-doubt?? I should do it though - it sounds like fun. (And they let crocheters in!) But, I'd better get on it, if I want to, because the deadline is May 1st. Hmm...I'm also a little confused, as the page says you send one skein to your secret pal the first month, then a 2nd skein the 2nd month. Then, in the 3rd month, you mail your pal the one-skein project you completed for them. Does that mean you get to keep one of the skeins? (Pardon my idiocy...I've never participated in a secret pal exchange.)
Busy day at work today - I haven't gotten to catch up on any of my obsessive blog reading! But, I do feel like I am getting a lot done today. Which is good. Maybe eventually all of these stacks of files/paper on my desk will start to shrink...
Friday, April 21, 2006
Look Ma! I'm knitting!
My friend that I was supposed to have brunch with on Saturday cancelled on me Friday night. So, instead of consuming delicious breakfast foods in wine country, I languished on my couch with a cup of tea and a pair of knitting needles. I also decided I'd pamper myself and use a teacup from my collection for my tea in the morning. Doing that always makes it feel special somehow.
As I did not having much luck with the double cast on method when I last attempted it, I tried the cable cast on, which I found online. I had much better luck with this method. See? All the loops were all lined up correctly and everything! (Don't mind that pile of laundry on the bathroom floor in the background...that was on the agenda for later in the weekend.)

Once I'd cast on 20 stitches, I practiced the knit stitch for a while. Not too bad. Then Sunday, I attempted changing yarn colors...did not go as smoothly. I did something wrong, not sure what. But, I'll bet if I pulled out the book and read how it's supposed to be done, it would go better next time...
Then I worked on the sock I'm crocheting. So far I am enjoying the lorna's laces. I didn't shoot any photos of that yet though.
Cleaning Spree
Sunday started out with another cup of tea (or two) in another nice china cup. And a bit more knitting. 
Then, the cleaning started. I feel like I did a lot, yet you can't see a huge difference (though the bathroom is notably cleaner...I don't spend as much time in there as I do in my living room). But, I did get 4 loads of laundry done, so at least I have things to wear to work this week.
Cowardice
I really need to call my ex regarding returning his stuff to him and getting mine back. I don't know if he's still living in the same place or not (he was going to move closer to work). I am afraid to talk to him. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what to say. And I'm terrified. But I think my biggest fear is that he may have found someone else already, while I'm so not even close to over him yet, and I'm afraid that would crush me. Okay, I know it would crush me.
And when I signed on to the internet tonight, he was online, but idle. When I saw his screen name I actually felt ill for a minute. Totally lost my appetite (I had been eating some macaroni & cheese). But, I sent him a simple "hello," and went on with my business, chatted with a couple of friends and wrote an e-mail. Figured I'd work on my blog. An hour later, he appeared no longer idle, so (now annoyed that he'd not responded, even though I knew he probably wouldn't), I told him we needed to figure out what to do about getting each other our stuff that had been left in our respective homes. Then I told him to e-mail or call so we could figure it out, and please not to ignore the message. And it kills me that he's not responding, and that it still hurts me so much. Like he couldn't care less. Even though I'm really hoping he got my message and it made him miserable to know that he let me go. I really hope he's questioning everything he's done. But I'm sure he's not. I'm sure he is probably annoyed that I attempted to contact him. (I haven't made any attempts for a whole month.) Why does this still hurt so much? I've been doing so well, but seeing his name on my screen just brought it all back. It's not fair. This still sucks. And sadly, I still want him back. Am I an idiot? I think it is probably worse because he was my first love. (Yes, my first love, and I didn't meet him until I was 29...and he left me at 30. My love life has always been pathetically non-existant, and now it is again.)
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Reminiscing

Here's an old photo of my Grandmother (Dad's Mom) with my older sister. I'm guessing my sister is about 6 here...which would make this photo about 27 years old. Anyway, they've both passed on now, but not from my memory. Both were named Theresa, but Grandma's friends called her Tret. My sister was Terri.
I've been thinking about Grandma lately because of the Easter Holiday. Grandma was an excellent cook, but protective of her recipes. When she died, a lot of her recipes died too, as she rarely (if ever) had them written down. My mother does have a few that she wrote down while watching Grandma at work. These are rather comical... Grandma's cooking wasn't very scientific, and everything was added until things "felt right" or were the right consistency (hard to convey on paper). I don't know if she truly ever measured out ingredients. But, she definitely knew what she was doing.
Over the years, a number of us have been in search of traditional Italian recipes that would be the closest to what Grandma used to make for us. I remember that when my family would drive 4 hours across Upstate NY to visit my grandparents in Amsterdam, Grandma would have a pot of chicken noodle soup with beef meatballs ready on the stove. I'd never heard of anyone else making that, and now I realize that it's actually a version of Italian Wedding Soup, that you see all over now. (Campbell's version is actually very close in taste to Grandma's, and when I first tasted it I just had to tell my father about it!)
I kind of went off on a tangent there... Anyway, this past Easter, my mother actually pulled out a few of the traditional meals that Grandma used to make. The ham pie (she had gotten this recipe from my cousin, who pulled it from her memory), Ricotta Cream Pie, Ravioli, and the lemon cookies (these are awesome and a must at all my family holidays - Mom and Dad both, even after the divorce - and my father still contends that my mother makes them better than Grandma ever did...but my Uncle refuses to agree. They actually argued about it once, my Uncle ending with, "They're good, but they're not how Mom made them.")
We need to tweak the ham pie, as Mom and I both think there was too much cheese, and don't remember it quite that way. It was good though. This was what the family would stay up late on Good Friday waiting for. As soon as the clock struck midnight, and we could eat meat again, out came the ham pie, eaten cold.
The ravioli are also a family tradition. They take 2 days and are completely worth it. Both of my parents make them, just a tiny bit different. My dad uses a pasta machine now, but my mom still rolls out the pasta by hand. I'm pretty sure they both use a food processor now though, to prepare the filling. The filling is spinach, sausage, parmesan, egg, salt, pepper and a dash of nutmeg...Chopped so fine it's the consistency of pudding. That sits overnight, and the dough is made the next day. My favorite part of the recipe as my mom wrote it is that it calls for 6 eggshells of water. (Grandma originally told her to add water to consistency, but as mom watched, she saw Grandma measure out 6 eggshells full.)
And my mother takes great pride in her raviolis. (Though I think her biggest vanity is actually her ability to make pie crust...) Here's mom posing for my blog (camera ham! hehe):

Spooning filling into pasta.

Folding the pasta over on itself...ready to roll!

The action shot...with the ravioli rolling pin.
Originally, my idea was to share the actual recipe...but I actuall forgot to write it out for myself! (I re-wrote it for Mom, to make it clearer & easier to follow, though it almost felt like I was robbing that little recipe card of it's historical accuracy and character.)
I do have the gnocci recipe though...maybe another time.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
Chef Tami Comes out of Hiding (the Good)
I was in a serious cooking mood last night. Probably because I was hoping to get home earlier than usual and thought I'd actually have time to cook…well, I only got home 1/2 hour earlier than normal. And, I still couldn't feel half of my face, so didn't want to prepare anything right away. But, I took out a chicken breast to thaw and had grand ideas for it. I washed the dishes in the sink (may sound like a small thing, but believe me, it's a feat for me…), emptied the dishwasher, refilled the dishwasher and lightly cleaned the sink and countertop (okay, the one clear countertop out of the four - it's a start). Then I settled down on the couch with my Lorna's Laces Motherlode (accidentally called it Goldrush on here the other day - must be an Apprentice slip) and worked on the crocheted sock I started (I have a cuff…or a hair thingy if I never pick it up again).
It was another hour and a half or so before I had enough feeling in my face where I didn't think I'd risk eating my tongue by accident… So, I sliced the chicken breast into strips and sautéed it over medium heat in a little bit of olive oil and about a half cup of balsamic vinegar, and then ground some Italian spices over the top. The vinegar reduces down and gets really sweet. Then I threw some frozen asparagus into the pan (chicken out) and a little more vinegar, on low until the angel hair pasta boiled. (I didn't time this well, but the chicken stayed warm, but I had overcooked it a bit). Threw the asparagus and balsamic reduction on top of the angel hair, sprinkled parmesan on top, and had my dinner. I was quite pleased with my efforts, except for the dry chicken (I am always paranoid I'm going to undercook it, and end up overdoing it. I didn't use the meat thermometer soon enough to counteract my natural tendency). I counted this as 11 WW points, which is more than I normally have for dinner, but I was point deficient yesterday and only made the pasta to get in my minimum!
The Faint of Heart…(the Bad)
All of my fears have been confirmed…okay, not all of them (that would be rather earth shattering, wouldn't it?). I usually don't fear the dentist, but this time I was afraid that I'd have another weird reaction from the anesthesia. I warned the dentist beforehand, and he said it's not that uncommon for women to faint if they receive the epinephrine too quickly (and Christyn sent me here yesterday to read about the fact that it is biologically impossible to be allergic to epinephrine, but it accelerates the heart rate and instills the fight or flight response. Of course, none of the symptoms for epi sensitive people listed there included fainting… Kind of scary to me that my flight response is to fall unconscious - I would not be good in a combat situation, unless used as a decoy!). So, the dentist numbed me up topically prior to the injections, and he was very good - I hardly felt anything (unlike the excruciatingly painful injections given by the hack!). But, shortly after completing the second injection, my vision started going black and blotchy and I felt that funky pre-pass-out sensation. I said something stupid like, "I'm feeling kind of eh…"(picture that statement with the accompanying hand gesture). And then I came to slowly - the dentist and hygienist were speaking, but it sounded like gibberish to me (that's a new one…I think all the other times I've passed out, it's been quiet when I came to) and I didn't understand it. The hygienist was doing acupressure on my temples and forehead, and then put cool cloths on my face. I was sweating buckets - I could feel it trickling (I know, thanks for sharing). So…yes Joie, I did mutter the infamous line…"Did I faint?" Like I didn't already know... They gave me oxygen and turned up the AC. I was a little shaky for a while, but it went away.
Good thing I had prepared them for this. I guess it wasn't a one-time thing after all. They marked my chart for no epi from now on. Aren't I special? This is a new thing for me - I never used to have a problem with dental anesthetics… And while part of me thought there might have been a contraindication with my anti-anxiety meds, I remembered that I was taking them the last time I had a root planing, and I didn't pass out then. I must be getting old. :( The rest of the appointment was fine though. I got my temporary crown (it's rough in my mouth…doesn't feel normal…at least it's only for 2 weeks!) and the other problem tooth filled. It doesn't look like I'll need the root canal, but the dentist wants to see how I do with the temporary crown before outruling it completely. He called me last night to see how I was doing. (I've never had a dentist do that before, is that normal? Or was he afraid he'd damaged me irreparably, and trying to avoid a lawsuit?) So, my next appointment is in 2 weeks.
Bye Bye Ugly! (and the Ugly)
The world's ugliest couches will soon be leaving my house. YAY! I'm getting another couch cast-off from Mom and my step-father, not the prettiest, but a vast improvement and way more comfortable. Of course, in preparation for the great couch crusade of '06, I need to do some major cleanup of my house. Major. I absolutely cannot allow the step-father to see the chaos in which I currently live. (This is because he tends to think his own kids can do no wrong, and likes to find fault with Mom's kids so he can point it out. I think this is possibly because he knows his own kids are obnoxious little self-serving brats, and it makes him feel better if he can put us down so he doesn't feel like as much of a failure. In any case, I don't want to unwittingly give him any ammo. And no, he doesn't usually say anything to our faces, but he'll mention it in a snotty remark to my mom. I don't know how she can stand him!!)
So, I am trying to do a little bit here and there where I can, which was part of the motivation for the mini kitchen cleanup last night. Barely made a dent though. I was planning on doing the big part of the cleanup project this weekend, but it's beginning to look like a hectic weekend coming up. I'm meeting a friend for Brunch on Saturday (planned when I didn't think I'd be doing anything other than cleaning this weekend). Then, there's a last-minute going away party for one of my closest friends who'll be moving to Denver shortly. So, Saturday is pretty much out. I'm stressing already! Any tips?
and a little more Good (to end on a positive note)
I may also be getting my mom's cat Gracie that same weekend, who doesn't get along with Mom's other cat. Gracie is terrified of the other cat, and stays under Mom's bed all day, aside from the occasional foray to the litter box or food dish. My step-brother's fiancée was going to take her, but thinks she's allergic, so I will find out soon if the cat is to be mine. I haven't had one in a while, and hope she's healthy. My last cat, Zena, had a mystery malady that no vet could figure out. I'm hoping I'm not cat-jinxed. This cat is really really sweet and affectionate - she was a rescued stray, and we wonder if she had been terrorized by other neighborhood animals or a former home. (Poor kitty)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Short 'N Sweet
I decided to give this to my mother, who is skinny and narrow (unlike me). Here's a shot of her wearing it. (The mirror shot was her idea, to get the front and back in the same shot - isn't my mother brilliant?)
Later today, I go back in to the dentist to get prepped for the crown. (Do I get a coronation ceremony?) I also find out if I need a root canal under that molar...wish me luck!
Monday, Monday...
This morning I was running late to work. As usual. I was going a little faster on the highway than I should have been…as usual. The unusual part of this story is the CHP car that was directly behind me, that I didn't see until it started making high pitched siren-y noises… Bad me!! I must have totally been under highway hypnosis not to have noticed. And so, today I was the unlucky recipient of the 3rd speeding ticket in my life. I did surprise myself this morning though, as I was relieved and happy (yes, happy - I'm a freak) when the cop said I could do my traffic school online. (The last traffic-school eligible ticket I got was in Marin county, and I had to attend the world's most boring "comedy" traffic school in person. Who is it that determines a traffic school class qualifies as "comical?" The only comical thing about that class was that the instructor looked like Santa Clause, admitted to a seasonal gig as such, and had spilled coffee down his white shirt on his way to class that morning.) And why is it that all of my friends think I drive like an old lady, and yet I keep getting these tickets for speeding?? (Okay, 3 in the last 6 years…it could be much worse.) And more importantly, why are the cops that pull me over never cute and young? Oh well, such is my fate. And I am also convinced that if Joie had been in the car with me, I wouldn't have gotten a ticket.
Happy Easter
I spent the weekend with my mother and step-family…and took many things to keep me busy while there. (Anything to avoid awkward and irritating conversation with my step-father.) I was armed with the Stitch 'N Bitch knitting guide, a pair of needles, multiple types of yarn, the crochet sock pattern I want to make, a novel, Interweave Crochet Magazine, the new Weight Watcher's magazine issue… When I got to Mom's I unzipped my overnight bag, and searched for my crochet hooks - I was itching to start the new socks with the Lorna's Laces Goldrush. My hooks were no where to be found! (The horror!!) So, I assumed I'd left the hook case sitting on the couch cushion, which was the last place I'd seen it before running out of my house. I knew I'd forget something. I always do…only it's usually my pajamas (most of my friends know that if I'm spending the night, they'll probably end up rummaging around for something for me to sleep in).
So, since I couldn't start on the socks, I settled down with Stitch 'N Bitch and started reading away. (Actually, I was waiting for my stepfather to take offense at the "bitch" in the title - he's the type that would -but, much to my surprise, he didn't say a word.) So far, the most frustrating part of knitting for me is casting on. I think the last time I was shown how to do it, I learned a different method than that initially given in the book (the double cast-on). The knit stitch itself came back to me with minimal difficulties, and binding off went okay too. Granted, I only did a little swatch of stuff. I definitely need to practice the casting on a lot more. And I didn't get up to purling yet. I had a lot (a LOT) of trouble with that the last time I attempted it. I'm trying not to pressure myself to do too much too fast. I know I need to get comfortable with the knit stitch again before trying to move on. So far so good.
And naturally, because I'm the brilliant girl that I am, as I was packing up last night to head back home, I found the hook case and all my hooks in the bag I'd put the sock yarn in…And WHY didn't I check that before, I ask? Sometimes I wonder...
Friday, April 14, 2006
sunny crochet day
Now, I have some options for the next project…I have 2 different sock yarns set aside for sock making, and I definitely want to start on a pair. The dilemma is, do I start with the lion brand magic stripes in blue/greys, or the lorna's laces in burgundy/golds… The blue ones will be a gift for a friend of mine who requested a pair…the others will be mine all mine! (Unless I decide they'd be perfect for someone…but at the moment, the idea is that they'll be mine). I am also planning on picking up the Stitch 'N Bitch Knitting book and trying my hand at that once again, but I'll use some of the leftover acrylic from my stash for that.
Today is the 2nd day in a row that the sun is shining up here! It really does cheer people up. The mood around the office is definitely better…but that might have something to do with the supervisor being on vacation, and the manager working from home today… Hmm…wonder if we'll get out early because it's Good Friday? If so, I can make a stop or two on my way home and search for the ravioli cutter that my mom has been scouring her area for. (It's the little wavy rotary cutter that seals and cuts the ravioli.) She sent the one she's had for years to my Aunt in Israel, because she figured she'd be able to find one without a problem (whereas Israel isn't really known for their Italian cuisine…). Anyway, there's a Linens & Things on my way home, so I might give that a try. And my specific interest in this little tool is that Mom is making a batch of ravioli for Easter dinner - my grandma's recipe (funny actually - my parents are divorced, and the recipe is my paternal grandmother's - Mom uses all kinds of Grandma's recipes and feeds them to her 2nd husband and stepkids. I'm lucky that my mother tries to keep our family traditions alive even after the divorce. And the ravs are awesome! She's also making Grandma's Italian ham pie and this extra-delicious sweet Easter Egg Bread - not Grandma's recipe, but Mom's been making it for years. My mouth is totally watering now…maybe I should have remembered to eat breakfast today...)
Okay, enough babbling. Back to work.